


Mistakes Were Made

by knightofsuperior



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, chat fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-05-20 15:34:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19379614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightofsuperior/pseuds/knightofsuperior
Summary: What happens when you give experimental communications technlology to schoolchildren?Exactly what you expect.





	1. The Important Questions

Byleth stared at the small device in his hand. “I’m not quite sure this is a good idea.”

Seteth scoffed, shaking his head. “Trust me, as much as I’d like not to, I’m in agreement here. But, this request comes from Lady Rhea herself on behalf of the local garrison. In their words…” He cleared his throat. “If you want to test the durability of something, whether it be a plan or a technological innovation, you will find no better assistants than the young. If anything can be broken, they will surely be the ones to do it.”

Byleth frowned, his attention still locked on the piece of machinery he held. According to Seteth, this device was supposed to allow soldiers to communicate over long distances. This would allow for more rapid-fire strategy and operations. At the moment, the most it could do was send written messages instantaneously-but even that alone would be something that could change the course of the war.

“Be sure our esteemed students,” Seteth continued, “Are made aware of how serious and important this is. Opportunities like this are not to be taken lightly.”

Byleth nodded. “You have my word this will be a professional, measured, and calm experiment.”

* * *

**November 11**

 

**_> TriForce (1 Day Without Someone Getting Yelled At By Teacher)_ **

 

**OhDeer:** ...so if the Goddess created everything, does that mean she created monsters too? What's up with that?

**TheLionKing:** Claude it is three past midnight go back to sleep

**OhDeer:** Are monsters just like the peel of an orange, the part nobody wants?

**BirdIsTheWord:** Why are you like this you can be anything but this right now and yet you still choose this

**OhDeer:** Or are they a part of the balance of life in this world, something horrible, yet necessary?

**MrDrProfessor:** GO TO SLEEP, ALL OF YOU, BEFORE **I** DO SOMETHING HORRIBLE YET NECESSARY

 

**> OhDeer has changed the chat title to ** **_TriForce (0 Days Without Someone Getting Yelled At By Teacher)_ **


	2. What's In a Name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The House Leaders and their Teacher figure out who's who.

**November 12, 10AM**

**_> TriForce (0 Days Without Someone Getting Yelled At By Teacher)_ **

 

**TheLionKing** : Claude.

**OhDeer** : Yes?

**TheLionKing** : I believe I told you yesterday to change my name back. This is completely improper for someone of my standing. 

**TheLionKing** : Goddess knows why Teacher gave you control over them.

**MrDrProfessor** : I find mine charming.

**TheLionKing** : You also find his habit of hanging upside down from the rafters charming. 

**MrDrProfessor** : Look let me have some humor in this job, I have to deal with upwards of thirty of you on a regular basis.

**TheLionKing** : Point taken.

**BirdIsTheWord** : i want mine changed as well i kno bird is a word y does that matter

**OhDeer** : Whaaaaat D: you don't like them?

**TheLionKing** : ...what is that?

**OhDeer** : What's what?

**TheLionKing** : That D and the colon. 

**OhDeer** : It's a sad face! Flip it and you get a happy face! :D

**TheLionKing** : I should have been born a commoner.

**TheLionKing** : Just do it. Something else. Anything else.

**BirdIsTheWord** : i still dont know whats so word about bird

**OhDeer** : Fiiiine. Hang on. Changing yours too, Teach.

**MrDrProfessor** : To what?

**> OhDeer has changed MrDrProfessor's nickname to ProfessorBlack**

**BirdIsTheWord** : teacher didnt pick a house yet tho

**OhDeer** : Trust me, it'll make sense.

**> OhDeer has changed BirdIsTheWord's nickname to QueenCrimson**

**> OhDeer has changed TheLionKing's nickname to KingBlue**

**> OhDeer has changed their nickname to PresidentGold**

**QueenCrimson** : but im 1 of the black eagles

**PresidentGold** : But you always wear red. Teacher always wears black.

**ProfessorBlack** : It's true. 

**QueenCrimson** : o yea

**KingBlue** : 1. This is acceptable for now. 2. Speak with proper grammar, Edelgard. 

**QueenCrimson** : its faster like this 

**KingBlue** : And you call yourself Emperor to be.

**PresidentGold** : Don't be a jerk D:

**ProfessorBlack** : Yeah D:

**QueenCrimson** : D:

**KingBlue** : Shouldn't you all be getting ready for class? Including you, Teacher?

**ProfessorBlack** : Oh, I am.

**KingBlue** : ...what

**ProfessorBlack** : All of you are ungodly late. I've been showing the class how this chat works while we waited for one of you to realize. Except for Claude, that is. He's trying to hide in the chandelier. 

**PresidentGold** : Aw, you saw me? D:

**QueenCrimson** : ...o. o no

**KingBlue** : wHAT

* * *

**November 12, 10:15AM**

**_> Golden Deer Group Chat (Test)_ **

 

**GoldenExperience** : Look, I don't see why I should get detention when those two broke the windows.

**Mercenoiry** : Think of it as babysitting duty. You're the most responsible here.

**GoldenExperience** : Ha! Good one.

**Mercenoiry** : …

**GoldenExperience** : ...oh Goddess you're serious.


	3. The Game is Afoot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Detective Edelgard takes on the case of her missing pie.

**> Black Eagle Group Chat (Test)**

**GottaRuleThemAll:** sum1 dies 2nite

 **TeachKing:** What.

 **GottaRuleThemAll:** u herd me

 **TeachKing:** Hearing and comprehending are two different things, Edelgard.

 **GottaRuleThemAll:** Perhaps you’ll listen if I speak frankly.

 **TeachKing:** Why don’t you do this more often?

 **GottaRuleThemAll:** Because there’s no need. Neither you, Dimitri, or Claude are my subjects. I am free to speak as I wish because I know you will understand me.

 **TeachKing:**...that’s actually kind of sweet.

 **GottaRuleThemAll:** However, one of you stole my final slice of pie from the pantry today, and for that, the punishment is death.

 **TeachKing:** You’re joking.

 **GottaRuleThemAll:** I am not. That pie was a gift from my family, and it took months to get here. I have savored every piece up until now, and I wished to finish it with the glory and grace of an Emperor.

 **TeachKing:** I’ve seen how you eat. It’s a miracle the plate is still there afterwards.

 **GottaRuleThemAll:** As I said, glory and grace.

 **GottaRuleThemAll:** Now, confess either your sins or that of the others. Do so, and I may consider leniency.

 **TeachKing:** Look, how do you know it’s one of us? It could have been literally anyone here. A student, a teacher, a squirrel.

 **GottaRuleThemAll:** ...we have squirrels?

 **TeachKing:** Claude let them in the school.

 **GottaRuleThemAll:** Ah. Well, the pantry was the exclusive House Leader pantry-the one we use to make sure no one gets our most prized possessions.

 **TeachKing:** It’s literally just food.

 **GottaRuleThemAll:** FOOD IS **_IMPORTANT_ **, TEACHER, I THOUGHT YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND

 **TeachKing:** I have an alibi, at the very least.

 **GottaRuleThemAll:** And just what is that?

 **TeachKing:** I’ve been incapacitated all day.

 **TeachKing** : See also: squirrels.

 **GottaRuleThemAll:** ...what do they have to do with anything?

 **TeachKing:** Recall that I said Claude let them into the school.

 **TeachKing:** He let them into my room.

 **TeachKing:** While I was _sleeping_.

 **GottaRuleThemAll:** Teacher, that’s horrible! Did they bite you? Did they infect you with some kind of disease?

 **TeachKing:** They knocked over my bookshelf and I got a concussion. Or three. It’s hard to remember.

 **GottaRuleThemAll:** I

 **GottaRuleThemAll:** I see.

 **GottaRuleThemAll:** I will interrogate the other two, then. Justice will be meted out.

 **TeachKing:** Aw, thank you.

 **GottaRuleThemAll:** For the pie, mainly, but I’ll stab Claude one more time for you if it helps.

 **TeachKing:** I can’t give you permission, but I wouldn’t be opposed.

 

**> InsufferableClaude**

**ChickenWing:** did u do it

 **InsufferableClaude:** No, I didn’t change your name yet, but I’ll get to it soon.

 **ChickenWing:** il ask 1 more time did u do it

 **InsufferableClaude:** Did I do what?

 **ChickenWing:** Did you steal my pie?

 **InsufferableClaude:** Wtf you can type normally? O____o

 **ChickenWing:** When the situation calls for it. Now answer the damn question.

 **InsufferableClaude:** I don’t know what you’re talking about-when did you get a pie?

 **InsufferableClaude:** Wait, was it your birthday?

 **InsufferableClaude:** DID I MISS YOUR BIRTHDAY OH GODDESS I AM SO SORRY LET ME GET YOU SOMETHING

 **ChickenWing:** You didn’t miss anything, except the point. I got a pie from my family on Founding Day. I’ve been eating slices since then, and was saving the last slice for a good day. You stole it from the pantry, didn’t you?

 **InsufferableClaude:** Founding Day? Man, that must’ve been an old pie, considering it’s been like two

 **InsufferableClaude:** Hold up, when did we get a pantry?

 **ChickenWing:** Oh my Goddess, the House Leader-exclusive pantry? The one they told us about during orientation?

 **ChickenWing:** The one you left the bag of jerky in during orientation?

 **InsufferableClaude:** Oh yeah, I rem

 **InsufferableClaude:** OH SHIT 

**> InsufferableClaude is now Offline**

**ChickenWing:** ...I have several more questions now, but I’ll assume that the pantry will no longer smell like moldy socks and that you didn’t take the pie. Thank you for your assistance.

**> Recipient will receive message when they are Online**

 

**> Dimitri**

**Edelgard:** i kno it was u

Dimitri: Not this again. Speak like a person, Edelgard, let alone closer to one of your standing. Honestly, it’s a miracle you made it into this school with that level of literacy.

 **Edelgard:** Fine. Confess your sins and maybe I won’t pass swift and brutal justice on you and all you hold dear.

 **Dimitri:** For the last time, I wasn’t trying to convert Bernadetta to the Lions, she asked for a pencil. You can be so vindictive, I swear.

 **Edelgard:** We shall discuss that at a later time. What I’m referring to is something far more drastic, an affront to everything we stand for in the Black Eagles, and a personal attack on me.

**Edelgard: YOU.**

**Edelgard: ATE.**

**Edelgard: MY.**

**Edelgard:** **_PIE._ **

**Dimitri:** I

 **Dimitri:** I did what now?

 **Edelgard** : THE PIE IN THE PANTRY. YOU **_ATE_ **IT!

 **Dimitri:** Wait, are you talking about the pie in the pa-

 **Dimitri:** Oh.

 **Dimitri:** I think you might be a bit confused, Edelgard. 

 **Edelgard:** I’ve already eliminated Teacher and Claude from suspicion-therefore, whatever remains-whoever remains-must be the culprit.

 **Dimitri:** Are you sure about that?

 **Dimitri:** I was peckish last night, and came across this scene at the pantry.

**> Dimitri sent 07.jpg**

**Edelgard:**...what is this trickery?

 **Edelgard:** This can’t be.

 **Dimitri:** It is. I saw it myself.

 **Edelgard:** That traitorous scum!

 **Dimitri:** Do you mind if I send a heads-up to him? Just to give him a head-start.

 **Edelgard:** plz do

 

**> Professor**

**LeoMajor:** You’re doomed.

 **Professor:** TRAITOR

 **LeoMajor:** I believe there’s a saying the commoners use. I quite like it. 

 **LeoMajor:** “Get wrecked.”

 **Professor** : IS THIS ABOUT THE NICKNAME

 **LeoMajor:** It’s always about the nickname.

 **Professor:** OH GODDESS I CAN HEAR HER FOOTSTEPS

 **LeoMajor:** Have fun.

 **Professor:** I’M STILL CONCUSSED FROM THE DAMN SQUIRRELS I DON’T NEEFSDCXSRGB 45YY5YGRTH54WB EHJT6 NJMUYKKU

**> Professor is now offline**


	4. Problems for Future Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A hole appears in the sky. Things go a bit odd after that.

****

> **_TriForce (11 Days Without Someone Getting Yelled At By Teacher)_ **

 

**PresidentGold:** So...has anyone seen anything weird lately?

**KingBlue:** Define weird.

**QueenCrimson:** **_THERE IS A HOLE IN THE SKY AND IT JUST SPAT OUT ANOTHER ME_**

**PresidentGold:** That kind of weird. I got another me too-he’s got a beard. I didn’t know I could grow a beard!

**KingBlue:** And how, exactly, are you seeing this?

**PresidentGold:** With my eyes.

**QueenCrimson:** **_MY OWN TWO EYES, DIMITRI_ **

**QueenCrimson:** **_OH GODDESS THEY’RE SLAMMING EACH OTHER INTO THE WALLS, WE JUST HAD THOSE CLEANED_ **

**PresidentGold:** Phrasing, Edelgard.

**KingBlue:** Edelgard, you’ve been working on the project for Professor’s class for literally two days straight. Claude, you’re...Claude.

**PresidentGold:** And just what’s that supposed to mean?

**KingBlue:** You’re a trickster, a liar, and generally up to no good on a regular basis.

**PresidentGold:** ...¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ You’re not wrong.

**KingBlue:** What the hell is that symbol-look, nevermind. My point is, you’re probably exaggerating, and Edelgard is sleep-deprived. You’re merely taking advantage of her...less than lucid state.

**QueenCrimson:** **_THE OTHER ME HAS A BONE AXE AND IS SCREAMING ABOUT THE CRESTS_ **

**KingBlue:** Case in point. And turn off your caption lock, Edelgard, it’s unbecoming of you.

**PresidentGold:** Of course you’d call it that. The “caps” stands for Capital, you know.

**KingBlue:** Look. All I’m saying is that I need proof from someone more reasonable and calm about this. 

 

**> ProfessorBlack is Online**

 

**ProfessorBlack:** DIMITRI WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME AND HOW DID YOU LOSE YOUR EYE

 

**PresidentGold has changed the chat title to** **_TriForce (0 Days Without Someone Getting Yelled At By Teacher)_ **

 

**ProfessorBlack:** Nice hair, though. Seriously. You work the dishevelled look, if I’m being honest.

**KingBlue:** What.

**PresidentGold:** Oh, yeah, I see him now. Gotta agree, teach. You got that messy-hot look goin’ on. Eyepatch helps too. Gives it all a nice air of mystery. I can dig it.

**KingBlue:** I’m going back to bed. I have no time for this nonsense.

 

**> EmpressMe has entered the chat**

 

**EmpressMe:** If you would kindly stop training your axe on me from behind the bushes, Emperor to be, I believe we may have some things to discusdsdfafaggagfad

**KingBlue:** Who are you? And what is  _ that _ monstrosity?

 

**> DeerlyBeloved has entered the chat**

 

**DeerlyBeloved:** Sorry, that was me. I didn’t realize she was on the chatbox and thought she pulled out some kinda weapon. Man, I haven’t used this thing in  _ ages. _ Were the keys always this hard to read or am I just getting old?

**DeerlyBeloved:** Pleasedontkillmeedelgardimsorry

**ProfessorBlack:** Um.

**QueenCrimson:** wat in fodlan

 

**> BlaiddydofDestruction has entered the chat**

 

**PresidentGold:** What the fuck

**BlaiddydofDestruction:** GET BACK HERE, YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A TEACHER!  **_THIS ENDS TODAY!_ **

**PresidentGold:** I can’t stop laughing at that name holy shit

**PresidentGold:** Are you Dimitri?

**BlaiddydofDestruction:** OF COURSE I AM

**DeerlyBeloved:** Stop using your caption lock, Dimitri.

**BlaiddydofDestruction:** **_THAT WAS FIVE YEARS AGO_ **

**ProfessorBlack:** What is happening?

 

**> ProfessorBlack has entered the chat**

**> ProfessorBlack has changed his name to DoctorWhen**

 

**DoctorWhen:** I swear, I can explain.

**Professor Black:** I need a stiff drink.

**PresidentGold:** Before anything else, it’s not just me who thinks Other Dimitri looks hot, right?

**DeerlyBeloved:** _RIGHT?_

**ProfessorBlack:** I need a  **_very_ ** stiff drink. 


End file.
